i am enough

the conversations i have been engaged in since news of MJ broke have been endless... they have made me think of a number of things like:
1) me and some friends got the news while in the cinema watching Hangover and as soon as we got out, even before we had full details of how he died, we were saying "have you heard...?" its both crazy and sad why it was so much easier to talk to random strangers about michael jackson, but yet i hesitate to share the gospel. Jesus Christ is still alive and more able to change peoples lives more thatn MJ did. surely thats good enough news to be spreading. i should be desperately telling random people about the King of Kings!!!
2) as tweeted by Kirk Franklin: am i living a life that will be missed? not that im looking for global recognition, but am i living each day as productively as i could be? am i living a life worthy of that which i have been called to? am i making an impact on other people's lives or situations that i engage in?
3) death is inevitable, i dont know how long im gona be around for... am i using the time i have wisely? am i using the spare moments i have to nurture the gift God has given me? i think for a while i had just put what i have on a shelf so to speak, and am just waiting for the right moment to use it. but these last few days have made me think that this time is for me to prepare and practice how to use it. people generally dont show up on stage unrehearsed, i cant expect to be like bamm amazing just like that. people who influence others know where their talents lie and turn that potential in to action. i like the quote: "what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

so im turning a new page with the realisation that the extent to which i can achieve what i put my mind to is dependent on my own comprehension of how adequate i am. i dont really know when i came to this conclusion, but i do know that its about time i stopped listening to or allowing other peoples opinions of me to shape my own concepts of myself. im freeing myself from the need to be understood. for too long i have felt that i have to explain my actions or thoughts. i have been subject to a mentality that caused me to feel below what i have been created to be. and by staying bound to such processes i am not benefiting my own life or allowing myself to used by God to help others. reality is that God designed me. in thinking low of myself i'm indirectly telling Him that He didnt do such a good job. "I am enough" is my phrase of the week as i re-educate my mind. Yes i still have my character and personality flaws, but im workin on them. Yes i may fall short and slip up from time to time, but i am still adequate in His sight because of the blood, and if for nothing else, i am grateful. Jesus didnt pay a price for me to feel sorry for myself and leave what he bought to gather dust on a shelf.

Elle Naturelle
xx