am i drowning in shallow water?

i feel overwhelmed. whats happening? i dont understand. why, Why, WHY? why cant someone tell me what to do - i never said i wanted free will (i would freely and willingly give up that right)... why cant life be simple - i dont want to have to figure things out... why am i so scared that the prophesies have not come to pass yet - even though i know its all about timing (His not mine)... why cant i let go and forget things that happened in the past - afterall He has... why do i care about the things of this world more than i should - when i know my final destination is much better than the things trying to distract me on my journey there... why does the situation feel so much bigger that it is - when i know in comparison to the greatness of my Father its minute... why do i find it so hard to surrender when i know thats the only way the problems will get solved?

asking and waiting for the answer
xx

"I cried out 'I am slipping'
but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me
When doubts filled my mind,
your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer" - Psalm 94: 18-19

Penny for your thoughts

recently i bn watchin one 2 many poetry clips...here's one i saw this mornin n liked... dont think i need to explain my thoughts...

Spring clean

Iv really had to check my heart this morning. recently ive been on spiritual high...iv been trying my best to stay on track, read the word, hear from God and all that jazz - and omd has it been amazing. but yesterday something happened. clearly things were going too well and the devil got mad so he threw something at me. without going into details of what i did, it made me realise quite a couple things...

i read 1 thessalonians 4:3 this morning - "This is the will of God, even your sanctification". To be sanctified means to be set apart, to be made holy. Its an action that God does towards man. There isnt a question whether God is willing to sanctify me, its not something i need to long for- as a christian i have already been sanctified as a work of the cross. But the question lies in whether it is my will. Am i willing to let Jesus be made sanctification to me, and let the life of Jesus over flow in me? i want to say yes, and that will be the good answer, but right now im questioning to what extent? Is he the God in me 24/7 through and through? From yesterday i realised that there are still areas of my life that im withholding from him, that i havent allowed him to sanctify. God is too good to me. He didnt rebuke me, but by his gentle Holy Spirit let that area come to surface. its like he is saying to me "its great that you've given me this much, but allow me to have all and see what happens". He just showed me what was there and is now asking me what im going to do about it. God is such a gentleman.

i cant become proud about being holy and hearing from God or being on a spiritual high. im still on the journey and closer but not at the destination - still working out my salvation. sometimes the more i hear from him, the greater the pressure and responsibility i have to obey and change. there is both an agonizing repentance and a sense of shame and degradation; and at the same time an amazing realisation that the love of God commended itself to me in that while i cared nothing about Him, He completed everything for my salvation and sanctification (Romans 5:8) - its so humbling, that it makes me want his will to be mine, i cant put a rug on the bad stuff to keep it hidden. His light exposes all darkness however seemingly small and insignificant it may be... The more time i spend with God, the more i realise theres something wrong with me and needs to be sorted out. but its not in a bad way, its more like He is spring-cleaning my heart to make it more liveable for him.

Daddy's Girl
xx

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love" - Romans 8:38

Knowing who you are in Christ part 2

Sunshine is officially my twin brother...if it wasnt God, id be scared... i hadnt spoken to him, was watching Encourage Yourself and was planning to write about something that i drafted just over a week ago about knowin who i am in christ only to see he beat me to it. grr... and to add salt i think the line in his poem "if i dont do what i was assigned to do will someone else do it and leave me to rue" applies here init. shame shame shame.

well wat i was gona say was about something that i was talking briefly to someone about yesterday was allowing people to label me. i really have issues with peopl calling me stuff. i dont even mean horrible stuff, sometimes its as simple and random as darling. in my head im thinking uhhh dont call me that, im not ur darling. hahaha....but for real though, sometimes, from some people its just unappropriate and wrong. i dont even know where it stems from... on the other scale of the spectrum sometimes i do let things get to me, like when i get called something that i know that im not, and it really cuts me. its like I seem to be fighting a mental battle over some of the things i hear. just minor things at times that i know i shouldnt allow the to get to me, but for some reason they do. im doing the whole in one ear and straight out the other thing - iv not completely mastered it but im getting there

iv definately found out that it helps to see myself as God sees me. that way when someone does try to say something, i'll have ammunition and be like errrm dont talk to me, you wana know what my Father thinks??! ...ahhh!! im excited, gona learn a scripture in a hot second ... but yer speaking the Word over my life, even when I dont feel like it is probably one of the most powerful things i can do. Im trying to get into the habit when times are easy, so that when they become hard, I can stand strong because I know who I am in Christ.

Knowledge is power - I am who God says I am
xx

Knowing who you are in Christ

In the past 3 months 'Knowing who you are in Christ' and the general topic of the role of the 'Holy Spirit' have been common themes in most church meetings/ fellowships I've been to. The Holy Spirit is one person I've always wanted to know more about and this week it seems God has decided to answer some of my questions. A lady was speaking about the Holy Spirit on Wednesday at a campus fellowship I went to. She said that God sometimes uses the Holy Spirit to make us jealous (in a good way) and bring us back to Him. Her rationale was that the Holy Spirit always seems to be directing our friends, having full conversations and doing wonderful things in their lives but we sometimes do not hear Him at all. God gets people to share these experiences so that we know what the Holy Spirit can do and then long for a relationship with Him. On thursday I decided to test it out and spend a bit longer just listening to the Holy Spirit instead of talking at Him. I've been asking about my future a lot and I've been told not to worry about it even though I've finished Uni and have no idea what I'm doing and I got a verse that really uplifted me:

Habbakuk 2:3- For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

That just made me feel like ok.. kool He is still there He hasn't forgottten about me and I should feel secure in Him, not in myself and not in the world (Jeremiah 29:11 is further confirmation of that). This caused me to write a poem called Identity- Enjoy!

IDENTITY

I don't know about you but I often ask myself
Who am I?
What am I here for?
If I don't do what I was assigned to do
Will someone else do it and leave me to rue
The opportunities I missed, the mistakes I made?
Am I the only one chosen to fill in a blank?
Not likely
Is anyone gonna miss me if I disappear?
Slightly
These are the thoughts going through my mind
On a daily basis because of the feeling that maybe I am no-one,
Which is true in a sense because I can do nothing without CHRIST
But at the same time I am someone because He needs a vessel to bring to life
I can be this vessel, scratch that I will be this vessel
I could be the most important piece of a gigantic 4 dimensional jigsaw puzzle (heaven being the 4th dimension)
I could be the clasp of a worldwide chain of believers
I could be a crucial part of GOD's plan with the help of the HOLY SPIRIT
I need to draw closer and closer to see that
That's my perspective but JESUS sees the finished product
And HE has faith in me to obey the SPIRIT
Therefore in HIS eyes I am the most important piece of this puzzle that was finalised in Revelation
I am the clasp of a worldwide chain and JESUS' heart is the pendant
I have made a big enough impact to confidently boast about what JESUS has done through me
I am GOD's son in whom He is well pleased
I am a light in this global village where there are constant blackouts
I will testify that I have an inheritance in the KINGDOM which makes me a Prince
I AM THAT I AM resides in me therefore I am....
The beacon of bravery, the mogul of manhood,
Whatever the SPIRIT wants me to be,
A vehicle of the gospel,
A man whose actions speak louder than his words.
I am all these things and more but I am still a young grasshopper and must heed the word of the LORD,
Because the truth is I still don't know who I am,
But I know who I am in CHRIST and that's HIS beloved.
Who I AM may change depending on what season GOD is taking me through to reach my destiny
Who I AM doesn't matter if it's not who GOD wants me to be
Who I AM is distorted if 'I' is the biggest factor of change
Who AM I?
I AM an emulator of CHRIST
Who AM I?
I AM an enemy of the world's system
Who AM I?
I AM a soldier in the LORD's army
Who AM I?
I AM a flexible part of GOD's master plan
Who AM I?
I am a CHRISTIAN

-`0 -

whats important?

there are some things that get repeated in church services so much that its like when someone starts saying something i almost zone out. not disrespectfully but just my mind thinking i know this. like i know how to do x, know what to do when y, and get what z means to me right... but knowing, understanding and doing are 3 different things. stuff gets repeated time and time again not because they dont know what else to say, but rather because God values it highly and i need to keep hearing it till i start living in the truth of that principle or fact... The other day at church something was said about God's value system before we took communion and its been on my mind all week coz its something i never considered before. God adjectives shows us whats more important to him... "precious blood" vs "merely silver and gold"... its time i started taking what God thinks is important more seriously... i need to keep seking the kingdom first too.

in the old testament, regardless of whether it was the consecration of a priest, the birth of a son, protection from the angel of death, the deepest penitence due to sin, or the highest religious festival, basically the way to fellowship with God was through the shedding of blood. In the new testament, its the same principle - but what the OT portrays through pictures and figures, the NT presents in person and fact. New and Old testament there is one dominant theme "Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness" - Hebrews 9:22

Its scientific, biological fact that the blood of a human is formed by itself and the sole contribution is from the male parent and no blood ever passes from mother to child. man it exciting just thinkin about this...so since Jesus was born of a virgin, the blood that passed through his veins had to have been contributed his father. ie a Holy God. so the blood of Jesus was perfect blood - like a lamb without spot or blemish (1 Peter 1:18-19), he was innocent (Matthew 27:4). It was the only blood that could substitute my life, nothing else could qualify.

[Pause] This is too deep for me to explain, im having a lightbulb moment

I've been redeemed = bought at an non-refundable price and no one can outbid God on ebay for me (lol its early, allow me)...Iv been justified = declared free - just as if i neva did anything... iv been cleansed and washed in the blood = no evidence, im as whiter than white, better than Vanish Oxy-action (lol i said allow me - iv only had 4 hours sleep) ... The more i think about it, the more i am amazed and even flabbergasted...like how the crucifiction was a sacrifice - not just coz Jesus died and blood was shed but that it cost the Father, and not only something but everything - that was his Son!! He separated Himself from his son so that I might never be separated from Him...deep. and now i can boldly go up to Him whenever i want to (Hebrews 10:19).

So when the Jesus said "This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me." 1 Corinthians 11:35...boi do i need to remember!! The blood is not something to take lightly.... i think He loves me too much for real.

speakin of blood, i keep meaning to give blood - freely iv recieved right, mehh y not
xx

"So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God."- Romans 5:11

Sin can't hold us down

Sometimes it gets to a point in my life where I allow Satan to make the most of the sins I've committed and make me feel unworthy. The truth is that on my own I will never be worthy but God has shown me grace and mercy by sending Jesus who sets me free from sin (Romans 8:1-5). I've done things in my past which I am not proud of and the Devil likes to remind me but I realised that if I dwell too much on my sin I am setting my mind on the flesh again and losing sight of the fact that it is not me who is Holy but Christ that lives in me; therefore I find myself having to repent as quickly as possible and get back in line with the Spirit.

Romans 8:6-8

"To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile towards God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God."

One time I was lingering in my guilt for so long that I had to write a poem to encourage myself, here it is:

Sin can't hold me down, Satan don't try to!

I’m running, I stumble I fall
I crumble no more,
I roll to my feet and walk out of the door,
Like Adam I realise I’m naked
I knowingly defiled what was pure and sacred.
What do I do now? No point crying over spilt milk:
God knows the flesh is weak and as soft as silk
OK! Let me stop writing this poem and repent
Holy Spirit forgive me I destroyed your tent!
God in His mercy won’t hold this against me,
I’m defeating myself by letting Satan get to me,
Telling me I’ve strayed too far from the truth,
That’s the biggest lie ever I will not be consumed.
No more regrets of indecent exposure
The light has prevailed in this dark enclosure,
Sin made me fall but I regained composure,
My life is not mine but belongs to Jehovah.
Grace is my portion, faith is my kinsman,
I’m a Bible’s distance away from the Kingdom.
We fall down but we can choose to get up,
I’ve lost a few rounds but I can still feel God’s touch
Willing me to finish the bout at all costs,
He’s only asking for my heart that’s not a big loss.
I can do this He gives me the strength,
He’s Superman and I’m Clark Kent.
Together Christ and I will smite the demons about town
Proving once more that sin... can’t ... hold... me... down

As hard as it is sometimes, I need to remind myself that to try and do anything in my own strength is futile, I need Jesus to help me overcome my flesh!

That's all for now...

Poetic Sunshine signing out -`0 -

Flowing in the same Spirit

Aaaaahhhh!!! 3 weeks to go... Life is happening...

Church was good today...i love it when i hear something in church that was what i had on my heart. its like God is confirming to me that im on the right track.

i think God is preparing so many people for something and allowing us to cross paths and encourage one another. i keep finding people that i click with. there's like a mutual understanding because it seems like God is teaching us very similar lessons at the moment. I dont know what he's up to, but im preparing myself for something big...

one of these people is Poetic Sunshine. Iv been blessed by some of his work and am seriously and literally watching this space for more of it. I opened up my blog because im so up for anything right now. "if God says it, i'll do it" is the motto of the week... so yer i didn't even try question God about it, once the idea came up. I know that i dont have the gift of poetry so why not add someone who does? iv got a deeper understanding of the truth in we are all one body. just because one person cant do what another can, doesn't make them any less important in the eyes of our Father. Whatever God is taking us into needs collaboration. its time to let these talents be of help to the world, and not to be shy and hold back what God has put on the inside.

Enjoying the sunshine along the journey
xx

"No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house" - Matthew 5:15

ps - if you want to share or add something and are flowing in the same spirit as us, let me know and you can jump on the bandwagon too.lol... its like the cats cradle game i used to play at school - it works so much better when theres more than one person... and in the end we'll see the bigger picture.

The Birth of Poetic Sunshine

Hi people! I'm Poetic Sunshine, a friend of Elle Naturelle. I love to entertain people and make them laugh, it brings me a lot of joy whether I do it intentionally or not.I am a Christian and I strive to be like Christ daily although it isn't easy! It is a very long and challenging journey. I've always had a knack for learning languages and enjoyed studying french at school and college. It wasn't until I got to Uni that I developed a love for the English language and all the different ways in which you can manipulate sentences to paint clear pictures or make things seem abstract or simply manipulate answers from people. This is what led me to read more and eventually start writing poetry.

My first poem outside education was written in 2007 to get a girl's number (i know, i know that's terrible! i told u the english language could be used to manipulate- it worked). Voila- Poetic Sunshine was born.... Since then however, I have been challenged by the Holy Spirit to write on current issues that are concerning the world. These poems seek to inspire and encourage people using various forms of imagery and putting myself in other people's shoes to try and portray the struggles of this journey from their perspectives. The advice that is given is for me as much as it is for you! Some harsh words may be spoken but it is not to judge but rather to make you think, it is not my place to judge. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death" Romans 8:1 and 2.

Anyway that was the introduction, you should hear from me again soon... Until then...

Peace love and Sunshine

Super in my Natural, Extra in my Ordinary

Man the last couple days have been truely somethin...i kept sayin iv gotta blog about that but not actually gettin a chance to sit down and do it...where do i start?? hmmm...

i went to dinner with some friends the other night. it was nice to let my hair down and chat about real life and not think about uni work for a change. and in the process i was so inspired by the conversations that took place. its like God is on my case about keeping to this challenge again. I had a moment the other day... i was begining to lose sight of what im doing. Thank God He is faithful to bring people to refocus me.

i listened to some amazing stories of how God brought couples together. and now all im thinking is: i want a story!!! one that's extraordinary!! everything i heard was like wow that just had to be God....eg seriously how can two people live next door to each other in a SEMI-DETATCHED house and never meet, until years later, shortly after both becoming christian, then they meet in the same church and get married?!! what?? ughh i wish i could repeat the other things i heard. more than just the story that was told though, was the way in which it was. and with that a depth of love that was so evident in their eyes as the couple looked at each other and even an unbroken connection between even when one person left the table. inspirational to say the least.... i could go on about that for ages, let me stop there... im sure God is workin out my story - maybe its even begun. ahhh, exciting!!

one other thing i was thinking about was the way in which God works. he is more able to do anything he wants, but yet he waits for me to decide to comply with his plans. the thing about the stories i heard was that who knows what would have happened if the individuals didnt do certain things or go to certain places. it was like a whole sequence of events that im like well if that minor thing didnt happen, would the result have been the same? so many times i kind of kick myself for not doing certain things. like a couple of weeks ago God told me to go talk to this taxi driver. long story short i didnt do it, and i more than regret that. what was i so afraid of? what was the worse thing that could have happened? iv prayed so many times "use me, use me", and when he gives me something to do, im like "if thats you, prove it, make this happen" or "i need confirmation thats a big step to take". when in actual fact sometimes all it needs is for me to take that step of faith in the natural and allow him to do what he wants to do through me supernaturally. i really should stop questionning God if he's sure about something!! ...and also i shouldnt really be so shocked when He does do something extraordinary - duhh He's God, nothings impossible!! i want to get to a point like my homeboys in the bible, where miracles, signs and wonders were jus happening all the time. it should be normal to hear stories of his greatness, it should be second nature for me - no strike that, first nature coz im not of this world.

Regardless of my inability to comprehend why, the reality is that he has chosen me. and because Has first loved me, i am able to love Him back, and out of my love for Him, comes obedience. and there i pause - am i willing to be obedient no matter what the task He throws at me? i want to be. i hope next time i do talk to whoever im told to talk to. i need to get over myself and this fear of looking stupid. He's given me seeds to sow, why am i keeping them in my pocket? if i want to be His hands on the earth, i need to put them to work and not be afraid of getting dirty.

God can only do his part, if I do mine.
xx

"The harvest is great, but the workers are few." - Luke 10:2

Maybe its just me...

...sometimes picking up my bible to start reading is a mountain in itself to climb over. its not even that i dont like reading the word, jus that sometimes i dont know where to start n stuff...its like a flesh vs spirit battle. i think to myself oh i'll just read it in a min or i'll catch up tomorrow... after yesterdays blog i was thinking about the habits i need to get into. one of which is "feeding my spirit" as they say. this is not just by attending church, talking to other christians or just praise and worship - these are all very essential, but the main thing is knowing the Word for myself. I think i've been slipping on that aspect and my sword (Ephesians 6:17) was begining to hang by my side rather be ready for use. if im to stay connected to my Father in the way i desire to be, i need to keep on point with what he says. I can feed my body more than three times a day, coz i know that i will die if i dont.lol...but in the same way i need to prevent spiritual death by feeding my spirit.

i heard about the "Bible Experience" ages ago but the bank balance didnt permit that purchase...so im online a few weeks ago and im like hmmm i wonder if there's a free alternative (yep im using the i'm-a-student excuse for as long as possible). and lo and behold - there are so many other equivalents available in so many different versions!! I found a UCB Bible that im kinda in the habit of listening to while im getting dressed in the morning these days. its kind of my substitute for music in the morning and im so loving it. I like this one because i dont have to keep choosing the chapter but can just keep it playing while im doing stuff around my room. and because its continuous i keep bumping into new stories that are in parts of the bible i have yet to open.

ahh im gona b late for uni...gotta run.
xx

"So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ" - Romans 10:17

Three letter word

isnt God amazing!! I love Him so much. Im learning to allow him to be the keeper of my heart. Yer i know that he should always be, but u know this flesh - always wants to take control... so where am i today? hmmm... The Holy Spirit loves waking me up early these days, im not complainin though. This morning was interesting to say the least. I big lightbulb revelation came on in my head. let me explain...

"make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge"
- 2 Peter 1:5

Pretty straightforward right?? - well until i clocked the word "add". It means there is something I have to do. I was in the danger of forgetting that i cant do what God does and that He wont do what I am supposed to do! I couldnt save or sanctify myself - God did that. Salvation was a gift - a free one at that, all i had to do was believe and recieve it. And we have faith because God has given that me that too (Romans 12:3)... But God wont give me good habits , he wont give me character. i have to "work hard to show the results of your salvation" - Philipians 2:12... i used to think that verse meant that i have to try to understand it, solve the puzzle, or do x, y, z... but it dawned on me this morning that "add" means i need to get into the habit of doing things. I have to take initiative, which means make a begining and instruct myself in the way i want to go.

I know that my problem sometimes is asking the way when i know it perfectly well. Rather than taking the initiative, i hesitate - ummm and arrrrr about it rather than take the first step. and thats the point - I have to take the step not him. i think iv subconciously been waiting for Him to do something - and He's like child iv done everything, it is finished!! (John 19:30). So this morning I think God is telling me its time for me to do something to get the results i want to see. I need be resolute when He speaks, act in faith immediately on what He says and not revise my decisions. I really want to come to a point of instinctively turning to God when a crisis comes, but i realising that that will only come if i form the habit of turning to him now.

Take the first step
xx

"Come close to God, and God will come close to you" - James 4:8

huh??

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed.

We hvae an aimzang Ceroatr. The Wlord is jsut raleisng the gaertsnes of His craetoins.

⇂:⇂ sısǝuǝƃ - ɥʇɹɐǝ ǝɥʇ puɐ suǝʌɐǝɥ ǝɥʇ pǝʇɐǝɹɔ poƃ ƃuıuuıƃǝq ǝɥʇ uı

And I Quote...

Apart from God every activity is merely a passing whiff of insignificance

God enters by a private door into each individual

God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame


I cannot imagine how the clockwork of the universe can exist without a clockmaker

People see God every day, they just don't recognize him

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us


How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans

God is love. and i love God…he cant break my heart.


It is easy to understand God as long as you don’t try to explain him


God is not my “co-pilot”, he is in full control

God is always with you… you just need to pay attention.

Dare to hope

The book of Lamentations is ultimately a sad funeral song. It was written by Jeremiah in a time when Jerusalem was being tragically destroyed and the people living there were exiled to Babylon. But what i like about this book is that God's character and divine nature shines through the distress and disaster. God is shown to be merciful and faithful. The book is five chapters long, and in the third chapter - which i think is symbolic of God being the centre - Jeremiah begins to describe the hope that remains because He is faithful. I thank God that in the midst of it all he never changes and my hope in him to pull me through is certain. His mercies are indeed new every morning. Yesterday i was talked about stepping into a new season. Iv woken up to realise that it also involves closing the door behind me. its not going to be easy to forget what has happened, but i feel like God is telling me that its ok to let it go. my scripture for this step is Lamentations 3:20-22 "I will never forget this awful time, as i grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when i remember this: The unfailing love of the Lord never ends!" So here endeth the chapter.




God is too good to me.
xx

"Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." - Lamentations 3:23

Ask and it shall be given

oh and as a random by the way before i really start what im gona say - im seriously allergic to something and i have no idea what it is, but my tongue keeps swelling and getting itchy when im having things iv had for years...pray for me!!

So anyway...a while back i prayed a dangerous prayer. its a prayer that iv said lots of times, but on this occasion i really meant it. i told God to be King in my life, to rule and reign, to take full control of everything. it was dangerous because God answers prayer!! who knew?! haha... So since that moment he has been taking over. bit by bit, stripping away things that were occupying His space in my heart... its only just dawned on me that this crazy emotional rollercoaster has been because of that one prayer. Iv been struggling and asking God why all this stuff has been happening to me, and why things are going wrong. and well iv just got my answer - because i asked for it!! and actually the things that seem to be going drastically wrong were never meant to be in the first place and hes just removing my plans to pave the way for his plans to take over... People have shocked me in the last few weeks, and once again iv realised i cant depend on man. iv not been happy with the way some friendships have turned out, but i guess God had to open my eyes and make me see he's the only one i can depend on.

in the natural perspective is i have no idea whats next and uni ends in 5weeks. but in the spiritual perspective its literally me and my Jesus right now, He's in control so i should just chillax...so here i am. i feel like God has brought me to the edge of a cliff. i need a miracle like how He provided a lamb to sacrifice instead of Isaac, or parted the sea, or never let the oil run out... i need a bridge to be built that crosses me over to the future He has planned. i feel like im about to step into something new, and as apprehensive and nervous as i am about it, deep down (very deep down) there's a peace because i know its the right time. it such a strange feeling. i have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. the harder i try to describe these strong emotions, the slower i type because the words dont seem to suffice, so im going to give up now.... as my pastor prophesied this morning at church: "A shift is coming in the spirit realm, God is turning up the thermostat" (just realised that that may not make much sense - you might have had to be there) basically i think these changes are happening now for a reason. God is about to do something amazing - i pray that i'll be ready for it and not just sitting on the sidelines watching.

Be careful what you ask for
xx

"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" - Psalm 37:4