Spring clean

Iv really had to check my heart this morning. recently ive been on spiritual high...iv been trying my best to stay on track, read the word, hear from God and all that jazz - and omd has it been amazing. but yesterday something happened. clearly things were going too well and the devil got mad so he threw something at me. without going into details of what i did, it made me realise quite a couple things...

i read 1 thessalonians 4:3 this morning - "This is the will of God, even your sanctification". To be sanctified means to be set apart, to be made holy. Its an action that God does towards man. There isnt a question whether God is willing to sanctify me, its not something i need to long for- as a christian i have already been sanctified as a work of the cross. But the question lies in whether it is my will. Am i willing to let Jesus be made sanctification to me, and let the life of Jesus over flow in me? i want to say yes, and that will be the good answer, but right now im questioning to what extent? Is he the God in me 24/7 through and through? From yesterday i realised that there are still areas of my life that im withholding from him, that i havent allowed him to sanctify. God is too good to me. He didnt rebuke me, but by his gentle Holy Spirit let that area come to surface. its like he is saying to me "its great that you've given me this much, but allow me to have all and see what happens". He just showed me what was there and is now asking me what im going to do about it. God is such a gentleman.

i cant become proud about being holy and hearing from God or being on a spiritual high. im still on the journey and closer but not at the destination - still working out my salvation. sometimes the more i hear from him, the greater the pressure and responsibility i have to obey and change. there is both an agonizing repentance and a sense of shame and degradation; and at the same time an amazing realisation that the love of God commended itself to me in that while i cared nothing about Him, He completed everything for my salvation and sanctification (Romans 5:8) - its so humbling, that it makes me want his will to be mine, i cant put a rug on the bad stuff to keep it hidden. His light exposes all darkness however seemingly small and insignificant it may be... The more time i spend with God, the more i realise theres something wrong with me and needs to be sorted out. but its not in a bad way, its more like He is spring-cleaning my heart to make it more liveable for him.

Daddy's Girl
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"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love" - Romans 8:38