Ask and it shall be given

oh and as a random by the way before i really start what im gona say - im seriously allergic to something and i have no idea what it is, but my tongue keeps swelling and getting itchy when im having things iv had for years...pray for me!!

So anyway...a while back i prayed a dangerous prayer. its a prayer that iv said lots of times, but on this occasion i really meant it. i told God to be King in my life, to rule and reign, to take full control of everything. it was dangerous because God answers prayer!! who knew?! haha... So since that moment he has been taking over. bit by bit, stripping away things that were occupying His space in my heart... its only just dawned on me that this crazy emotional rollercoaster has been because of that one prayer. Iv been struggling and asking God why all this stuff has been happening to me, and why things are going wrong. and well iv just got my answer - because i asked for it!! and actually the things that seem to be going drastically wrong were never meant to be in the first place and hes just removing my plans to pave the way for his plans to take over... People have shocked me in the last few weeks, and once again iv realised i cant depend on man. iv not been happy with the way some friendships have turned out, but i guess God had to open my eyes and make me see he's the only one i can depend on.

in the natural perspective is i have no idea whats next and uni ends in 5weeks. but in the spiritual perspective its literally me and my Jesus right now, He's in control so i should just chillax...so here i am. i feel like God has brought me to the edge of a cliff. i need a miracle like how He provided a lamb to sacrifice instead of Isaac, or parted the sea, or never let the oil run out... i need a bridge to be built that crosses me over to the future He has planned. i feel like im about to step into something new, and as apprehensive and nervous as i am about it, deep down (very deep down) there's a peace because i know its the right time. it such a strange feeling. i have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. the harder i try to describe these strong emotions, the slower i type because the words dont seem to suffice, so im going to give up now.... as my pastor prophesied this morning at church: "A shift is coming in the spirit realm, God is turning up the thermostat" (just realised that that may not make much sense - you might have had to be there) basically i think these changes are happening now for a reason. God is about to do something amazing - i pray that i'll be ready for it and not just sitting on the sidelines watching.

Be careful what you ask for
xx

"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" - Psalm 37:4