The Rock That Is Higher Than I

The playcount on my iTunes for Marvin Sapps "never would have made it" is ridiculous... its only because of Him that A) ive made it this far and B) i'll make it to the end. Im feeling overwhelmed though. Not just with uni, but different situations that seem to be arising. i honestly dont know what to do at times. thoughts keep popping into mind that i dont know how to get rid of - my flesh is trying to act up and get attention. i dont get how to control it anymore, iv been tryin anythin and everything... but now im literally forcing myself to believe the verses iv recited for years, im speaking out things in faith even when my mind is totally the opposite in its thinking. repetition of the truth will set me free from this crazy mental state im in, after all his word will not return to him void (Isaiah 55:11). Most of all im resting with the understanding that im not alone. its really funny how revelation comes about, like i hear things time and time again then suddenly its like duhh, like how many times have i read it man, cha talk about slooow. wats up wid me? why do i feel lonely at times? or even distant from him? or like my prayers dont go past the four walls of my room? its in the bible - im not alone!! - though all may forsake me there is One who will never leave nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5); who will love me to the uttermost (John 13:1); who will stick closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24); who knows every one of my needs (Matthew 6:25-34); and will attend to the prayers of all His children (1 John 5:14-15). knowledge really is power, im feeling strengthened already.

Im learning from David who also came to this cognition that he did not have the strength nor the power to rescue himself. iv sung the song lots of times, but in reading the scripture im imagining the cry of his sequestered heart in Psalm 61:2, "When my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Through David, we get a glimpse of heart of the man after God's own heart. something im currently aiming for. David was deep, ive been reading alot about him over the past week. David wrote Psalm 61 after Absalom, his son, rebelled (2 Samuel 13-19) and had "stolen the hearts of Israel from the King" then murdered his own brother Amnon. He committed treason and in the end was murdered by David's nephew Joab who ignored the king's orders to "deal gently with his son." (-thats the short version). Basically when David's heart was overwhelmed he knew where to turn to be apprehended by the One who was greater than his grief. He turned to Jehovah God - the rock that was higher than himself... Im definately at that point. the task at hand is far greater than i could ever accomplish on my own so im surrendering. Not quitting, but placing it in the hands of the One i can trust to complete it better than i can. Like David, im asking the Lord to raise me higher than the storm ahead. I want to reach altitudes in Him that iv got to before. Maybe like David i'll find a place of sanctuary and shelter in God Himself.

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xx