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there's a side of me that is extremely vulnerable that i feel i must hide from the world. i front a lot. i know that i do, and i know when im doing it, but i cant help it. take yesterday for example, i left a room of people, shut myself in my friend's bedroom and broke down for a few mins, pulled myself together and walked back in the room. no one knew, no one asked, was like nothing happened. *sigh*

... anyhoo... (yep here i go again, pretending that im ok)...

i feel like i have overdosed on truth pills in the last few days. lightbulbs have turned on in my head. things have to change.

Jesus help me